Wednesday 6 May 2009

Day 8, The Morning Meeting, The UK Desk, Making an Impression

Day Eight

I made sure that I arrived early this morning. I took the time took look at a few market related Bloomberg screens before the morning meeting.

The morning meeting was much the same as the previous ones. I was coming to the conclusion that the reason I was having difficulty understanding comments from the sales force was because they were not really saying very much. Smoke and Mirrors?

After the meeting I introduced myself to the UK desk. There were six people on the desk and not one of them had the time to talk to me or explain anything to me. I sat around looking over shoulders until lunchtime when the desk evaporated to ‘client lunches’.

It was clear that I was not going to learn anything new today. Nor was I making a good impression, or any impression for that matter.

I was right.

The next few days I was scheduled to spend in the settlements department.

Tuesday 5 May 2009

Day 7. Sales Meeting, The German Desk, More Structured Products.

Day Seven

Just made it in for the morning meeting. Traders plugged more axes and the economist justified his total miscalculation of Friday’s data. And I still had no idea what the salespeople were on about.

The rest of the day was spent with the German desk. As with the Italian desk, I had been looking forward to it. I spoke German, I had lived in Germany and in my previous career I had done business with Germans. I liked Germans.

The German desk was manned by three people, Juergen Dobmeier, Claudia Olbrich and Dieter Schmidt. Juergen was the head of the desk and he spent a lot of time telling me how wonderful and clever he was and that without him SDB would have no business in Germany. He refused to speak German with me, I suppose because he felt his English was more than adequate. It was.

Like the Italian desk, the German desk sold everything and anything. Claudia and Dieter went over their clients and how their client’s investment needs differed. I learnt a little about German Mutual Funds and Pension Funds and how keen Savings Banks were on structured products as were insurance companies as a means to invest in Hedge Funds.

Juergen did inform me that he would be telling the Head of Sales that there was no place for me on the German team and that I was not to cold call any German clients.

Well at least he gave me some advance warning.

Did anyone like me at SDB?

At the end of my fourth business day at SDB I sat at my desk wondering whom I would sell to. My horizons were shortening. So far The Italians and Germans wanted nothing to do with me and Sara Dudley on the Hedge Fund desk said that I was not qualified enough. Mind you at least she had not complained to the Head of Sales. Tomorrow I would spend time with the UK Institutional Desk. Maybe that would go better.

Day 4, 5 and 6. The Bank Holiday Weekend.

Day Four, Five and Six

Bank Holiday Weekend.

Hurrah!

A three day weekend for me to reflect and take stock of my new job at SDB.

Seriously considered resigning, then realised that I needed some income and had no other irons in the fire.

Got drunk instead.

All in all a good weekend.

Friday 1 May 2009

Day 3 - The Morning Meeting, The Italian Desk and Structured Products

Day Three

Day three was easier. Maybe I was becoming used to the very early starts, or maybe I was becoming used to feeling like a spare part. It didn’t matter, it was easier and that was a good thing.

I attended my first morning meeting at SDB. I probably should have attended yesterday but no one had told me. The meeting was attended by the heads of the trading desks and all the sales people. The traders spoke first, giving an overview of recent trading activity followed by a pitch on the axes they wanted the sales force to concentrate on. A selection of salespeople spoke about their clients and their client needs. The meeting ended with an economist giving a five minute summary of yesterday’s data and an expectation for today’s data. I had understood what the traders were trying to do and what the economist had to say but I remained utterly confused as to what any of the salespeople had put forward. I hoped no one was going to test me.

The rest of the day was spent with the Italian desk. I had lived in Italy and I had done a lot of business with Italians in my previous career. I spoke Italian and I liked Italians. I had been looking forward to it.

The desk was manned by five Italians. Paolo Buonincontro, Giovanni Tantifiducia, Marco Pocotempo, Fillipo Pescatore and Gianni Buongiorno. They were very friendly, explained they sold everything and anything to their clients with a bias towards structures. Structures it seemed had a lot of margin and these guys were all about margin. Giovanni and Marco both gave me the same look as Sara had yesterday when I asked where the value in the structure was. Oh well.

They spoke only in Italian to me and spent a lot of time telling me about the products they try and sell and the different clients they have. They also showed me how they make use of Bloomberg and Reuters and they took me to lunch.

I had learnt a lot it was a great day.

Later I discovered that Paolo had gone straight to the overall Head of Fixed Income and had complained about me. He had said that I knew absolutely nothing about financial markets, that I showed little aptitude, that I spoke very poor Italian and that I was not to be put in front of any Italian clients under any circumstances. Where did that all come from? Thank you Paolo!

At least Sara Dudley had told me directly that I wasn’t qualified or capable to talk to her clients. I started to like her better.

End of day three. I had learnt it had been a very bad day and I still had no idea what I was doing.

Thursday 30 April 2009

Day 2 - Learning About Hedge Funds

Day Two:

My second day at SDB was almost as confusing as my first. I met a hundred more friendly but un-interested people on the dealing floor. By the end of the day, I could not remember any of them nor could I remember the jobs they did. By the same turn, I am sure they forgot about me instantly. God, was I setting myself up to look like an idiot or what? Day two and I still had no idea whom anyone was, what anyone did and worse what I was supposed to be doing.

I did however learn two things and remember one person. I learnt how to use my computer terminal. I could access my email which I did not yet need, I could pull up an information system called Bloomberg which could do a million things for me that I did not know about, I could access Reuters which would do about a million other things that I did not understand and I could access a couple of electronic trading platforms that seemed to make my job irrelevant.

The person I remember was Sara Dudley. She worked on the Hedge Fund sales desk. Sara taught me as much as she could about Hedge Funds. When I say she taught me as much as she could, I mean as much as she had the patience to. From the look on her face I think she was wondering why SDB had hired me. Why not? I was thinking the same thing.

Hedge Funds, now there’s a business. I understood pretty quickly, or at least I thought I did. In my understanding they would at any one time be long something they thought cheap and short something they thought expensive and ride the spread differential. Some of them were leveraged long, Sara had explained. Wow! You buy something and lend it back to the bank you bought it from and with those proceeds you buy some more and do the same again and again. And you were not tied to just one broker. As a big Hedge Fund you could deal with any number of counterparties. Yahoo! I thought for the sales people, but I was not sure for whom it was great business. Sara looked at me as if I was quite mad, or perhaps just stupid, when I voiced this.

I did however like the idea of Hedge Funds and from the volume of enquiry the desk was generating I thought that I would like to have a Hedge Fund or two as a client. Sara made it clear to me that in no way was I qualified or capable of dealing with such sophisticated clients. Thank you Sara!

End of day two. What was I doing?

Wednesday 29 April 2009

Day One:

Day one refers only to my first day at work at Swiss Discount Bank or SDB as it is known as. What a day that was.

My name is Richard Wolfson. I am twenty eight years old; I like to think that I am pretty bright. I speak three other languages fluently – besides English – and can read in a couple more. I am very fit, not in the modern day sense of the word, I am no match for Brad Pitt, but in the physical fitness sense I am fit; I play squash, I run and I work out with weights.

Richard Wolfson is not actually my name and SDB is not actually the name of the bank I worked for. What is true is that Swiss Banks have billions and billions of dollars that lay unclaimed and not invested in dormant numbered accounts. The legacy of two world wars, refugee money and Nazi money. I was going to steal some of it.

I used to work for a family business, a fur trading business. It was a good business, well managed with a good list of clients. I only left the business because I wanted the arguments to stop. I suppose it is one thing to have a heated exchange with a colleague or your boss but an argument with your Dad has a different texture. At least that’s how I felt.

So it was my first day at work at SDB. My good buddy John Weil got me the job as a fixed income salesman. I had a desk right in the middle of a thousand person strong dealing room. The desk had four computer terminals; I had no idea what they were for. But then again I had no idea what I was doing. Fortunately John had organised a three month training program. I would learn about the bank, the banks business, how the bank functions operationally and then I would learn about the products I would have to sell. Good old John.

That first day I spent confused. I met at least a hundred people who were friendly yet un-interested and I still had no idea what I was doing. I nearly called it a day then.