Thursday 30 April 2009

Day 2 - Learning About Hedge Funds

Day Two:

My second day at SDB was almost as confusing as my first. I met a hundred more friendly but un-interested people on the dealing floor. By the end of the day, I could not remember any of them nor could I remember the jobs they did. By the same turn, I am sure they forgot about me instantly. God, was I setting myself up to look like an idiot or what? Day two and I still had no idea whom anyone was, what anyone did and worse what I was supposed to be doing.

I did however learn two things and remember one person. I learnt how to use my computer terminal. I could access my email which I did not yet need, I could pull up an information system called Bloomberg which could do a million things for me that I did not know about, I could access Reuters which would do about a million other things that I did not understand and I could access a couple of electronic trading platforms that seemed to make my job irrelevant.

The person I remember was Sara Dudley. She worked on the Hedge Fund sales desk. Sara taught me as much as she could about Hedge Funds. When I say she taught me as much as she could, I mean as much as she had the patience to. From the look on her face I think she was wondering why SDB had hired me. Why not? I was thinking the same thing.

Hedge Funds, now there’s a business. I understood pretty quickly, or at least I thought I did. In my understanding they would at any one time be long something they thought cheap and short something they thought expensive and ride the spread differential. Some of them were leveraged long, Sara had explained. Wow! You buy something and lend it back to the bank you bought it from and with those proceeds you buy some more and do the same again and again. And you were not tied to just one broker. As a big Hedge Fund you could deal with any number of counterparties. Yahoo! I thought for the sales people, but I was not sure for whom it was great business. Sara looked at me as if I was quite mad, or perhaps just stupid, when I voiced this.

I did however like the idea of Hedge Funds and from the volume of enquiry the desk was generating I thought that I would like to have a Hedge Fund or two as a client. Sara made it clear to me that in no way was I qualified or capable of dealing with such sophisticated clients. Thank you Sara!

End of day two. What was I doing?

Wednesday 29 April 2009

Day One:

Day one refers only to my first day at work at Swiss Discount Bank or SDB as it is known as. What a day that was.

My name is Richard Wolfson. I am twenty eight years old; I like to think that I am pretty bright. I speak three other languages fluently – besides English – and can read in a couple more. I am very fit, not in the modern day sense of the word, I am no match for Brad Pitt, but in the physical fitness sense I am fit; I play squash, I run and I work out with weights.

Richard Wolfson is not actually my name and SDB is not actually the name of the bank I worked for. What is true is that Swiss Banks have billions and billions of dollars that lay unclaimed and not invested in dormant numbered accounts. The legacy of two world wars, refugee money and Nazi money. I was going to steal some of it.

I used to work for a family business, a fur trading business. It was a good business, well managed with a good list of clients. I only left the business because I wanted the arguments to stop. I suppose it is one thing to have a heated exchange with a colleague or your boss but an argument with your Dad has a different texture. At least that’s how I felt.

So it was my first day at work at SDB. My good buddy John Weil got me the job as a fixed income salesman. I had a desk right in the middle of a thousand person strong dealing room. The desk had four computer terminals; I had no idea what they were for. But then again I had no idea what I was doing. Fortunately John had organised a three month training program. I would learn about the bank, the banks business, how the bank functions operationally and then I would learn about the products I would have to sell. Good old John.

That first day I spent confused. I met at least a hundred people who were friendly yet un-interested and I still had no idea what I was doing. I nearly called it a day then.